Gentlemen, start your incredibly lazy engines: Honda has a new answer for those of us too tired to get off our keisters. Meet the U3-X "personal mobility device," a unicycle-like ride that makes heading into the kitchen for pie as easy as -- well, pie.

The Harmonious Honda U3-X

Sure to excite mall cops everywhere, the Honda U3-X makes the Segway look like an outdated piece of junk that no one in their right mind would ride. (Actually, the Segway already looked like that. Disregard.) The device is a 2-foot tall infinity-symbol lookalike with two pull-out pads for your tuchas. Marketed as a mobility device that "co-exists in harmony with people" -- yes, seriously -- the U3-X lets you hop a squat and zip around a room simply by shifting your body weight.

Honda says its U3-X allows for "free movement" in any direction, be it forward-backward, side-to-side, or on a diagonal. And the more you lean, the faster you go. At least, until the battery runs out (or someone sees you on this thing and proceeds to beat the living daylights out of you).

The Honda U3-X weighs about 22 pounds and is said to run for an hour on each charge. It'll officially debut at the 41st Tokyo Motor Show next month, after which it'll presumably be ridiculed and then promptly forgotten.