Breaking Up With Xbox 360 Part 2: 'her' side of the story

The 'ex'-box bites back...

Last week, an anonymous games journalist 'broke up' with his Xbox 360. In the fallout, he accused his console of being a gold digger and publically dumped ‘her’ for a PS3. (To read all the messy details, click here.) As an avid Xbox 360 fan, I couldn’t let this stand. So here’s ‘her’ side of the story...

It's not me, it's you

So you’re giving me the kiss-off for the PS3 Slim.

I have to say, I‘m not surprised. No, not because she is “better” than me. I just always picked you as a superficial guy. Ditching me for that cut-priced tart with a flashy exterior and no personality just proves what I’ve known all along: with you, it’s all about the dress size.

You had always bagged out the PS3, saying there was no way in hell you would ever leave me for her. I remember how you’d whisper sweet nothings in my ear (via Xbox Live) and proudly boast about me to your friends. You even convinced some of them to buy Xbox 360s so we could double date. Then, all of a sudden, she glams up, slims down and it was ‘out with the old in with the new.’

Sure, I can admit that I am lacking in certain departments (no WiFi or Blue-Ray player), but I make up for it with my HUGE RACK of games. Dead Rising, Halo 3, Fable 2, Gears of War 2, Left 4 Dead Mass Effect 2 – the list goes on and on. That should have been enough to keep you satisfied; to keep your roving eye at bay. What can PS3 possibly offer you that I don’t? Sony EyePet? Yeah, good luck having fun with that.

And don’t you DARE accuse me of being a gold-digger, like you were the only one that contributed to the relationship. I put out like CRAZY for you! You pay a meagre US$45 a year and I give you an array of exclusive downloadable content, cute lil’ avatars AND hook you up with awesome gaming mates. I worked damn hard to make you happy.

PS3’s online system might be free, but at least I’m reliable (note the epic fail of Playstation Network here and here). It’s like the difference between McDonalds and a classy restaurant: you get what you pay for. Then again, I guess McDonalds is your idea of the perfect date, you cheapskate.

Oh, and you just had to pull out that ‘Red Ring of Death’ attack, didn’t you? It’s a birth defect that I’m not proud of, but at least I give you a robust three-year warranty period. And I’m honest about my faults. As for the PlayStation 3, I’ve got four words for you: Yellow Light of Death. Did I also mention she only has a paltry one-year warranty? Everyone knows that she doesn't really care about you.

But don’t you worry about me. You’re more replicable than one of my controller batteries. I literally have a horde of guys gagging to hook up with me (3 30,000 million units sold globally, eat your heart out). So run along now with your anorexic friend. Just don’t come running back when Left 4 Dead 2 comes out…

Adios!

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GamePro staff

Good Gear Guide

28 Comments

Anonymous

1

thats why i own both the 360 and ps3 i dont have to leave any console for another.

Anonymous

2

support both but its clear where the strengths are of each

i always had an xbox 360 and like the thing a lot. there are lots of games. it has busted twice (RROR) and unfortunately i've had to pay to get it fixed as microsoft support in south africa sucks. but i just bought a ps3 now...the slim. a few things are clear. sony know how to engineer hardware. the thing is dead quiet, dead small, and runs very cool. it looks good comprared to the xbox. microsoft are way behind. the ps3 hardware design and layout is far superior to the xbox. the ps3 software is much faster than xbox, but much more clinical. ms know software, that is clear, not speedy software, but it works and looks good. the ps3 is very boring and confusing by comparison. as far as games go I guess they each have strengths. bluray is the slowest thing i have ever come across (it takes like 45 seconds to play the office season 5!) but the quality is great.

Dub

3

your better off without him there are more fish in the sea :P I love you xbox 360!

Anonymous

4

yeah wright

Well best solution to have is a PC and PS3, left4dead you can play on PC, Gear of war on PC (no GoW2 on PC but i dont care because a didnt even finish the first part), Mass Effect on PC so that leaves Xbox 360 with wHAT? Fable and Halo?
good luck with that :)

Anonymous

5

PS3 has the biggest rack of them all.

P.S. RROD 54.2%, xbox live = $50 dolalrs for lag and services PSN gives out for free.

There really is no reason to break up with the 360. The 360 breaks itself up.

AnonymousSaf

6

LAME

What a lame ass article, miserably put together by a wanna be gaming journalist, just to try get some hits!

Clearly the person knows how to talk from their backside since not a single fact holds up. Are trolls allowed to be journalists?! Should they be allowed?! I think we should shit list them so we do not have to ever be crapped on again like this!

:)

7

PS3 provides a lot for a free online gaming expirence
its true that 360 has alot of downloadable content and aracade games
but so as ps3 this is here 3rd year while the 360 has one year start giving her a lot of exlusive games for start up so dont blame ps3 for not doing better than 360 and besides my ps3 is 3 years old bought it in 2007 and still it is my first ps3 and i dont need anthor i can upgrade my HDD
so i think that the ps3 is better in ways
but the 360 has a lot of great games i adimt like Geras 2 i like its gameplay
and halo 3 i think its a nice game and enjoyable

PS3 and 360 owner

8

What a FANBOY!

Whoever wrote this article has a hard on for the 360. I own both consoles, bought both on their respective launch dates. Now let me break it down for you Mr. Fanboy I am on my sixth 360 and still have my original PS3. You might say its stupid to replace my 360 repeatedly but theres a good reason. If I got rid of the 360 I would lose a ton of cash on the games I own for it even though they are in mint condition. Oh and by the way Live has failed more than the PSN and people actually pay for that network access with its slow matchmaking. LOL I can boot up COD4 Modern Warfare on my PS3 and from the time I turn the PS3 on to the time I am playing online is roughly 2 minutes probably less time than that. So basically my point is that I do love both consoles but your article was fanboy garbage.

Anonymous

9

Yellow Light of Death has such low rate I don't even know why you mentioned it just a stupid little thing that fanboys came up with to take away the attention from RRoD.

If people are willing to shell out the money to own a 360 why bother buying old games like Halo 3, GoW 2, L4D... when they can get new games (oh wait most of the big new exclusives are on the ps3).

Sure you sold quite a bit of units since your release but ps3 slim alone sold A LOT of consoles in just 4 weeks which means people were just waiting for it since it was bound to happen considering they slimmed down both PS1 and PS2 not to mention their handheld console psp.

Fancy Restaurants are just for special occasions and serve to make you happy but not full for the time that you spend there (until your broke), and then you have to come back to reality and remember that McDonald's does the same thing, gets you full and happy but for cheaper price. (If you compared the calories of the food you eat at a fancy restaurant you'll find that its not much difference compared to McDonald's specially when they are of the same portion size).

What else has MS has to offer 2010 other than Fable 3 and the so far from now new Halo.

If Sony did charge for premium online services so they can finance a better Sony Online experience (with the online experience already being good) not only will it blow XBL online out of the water but the only thing 360 would have to show is its big library of game which the majority of the content is Subpar or average at best.

Please by all means keep paying your favorite prostitute, its probably just using that money to finance the development of Natal which is just another Nintendo move that MS is trying to pull off. Crappy useless thing that serves to only entertain for a little while until its forgotten and left in the corner to gather up dusts. Not to mention another way for microsoft to jack money from suckers... watch them charge you for Natal services and you all happily pay for it... woops I should atleast not give MS another idea on how to steal money from poor defenseless people.

Dingo

10

Tut tut tut

Sounds like a catty little snivelling when you realised you're down on your luck.

No personality? Truly a joke. She's a funny girl if you want her to be (Ratchet and Clank Future, Disgaea 3, LittleBigPlanet) but when you look her in the eye you can see she's more a deep and cultured gal. From Heavy Rain, God of War III and The Last Guardian to Valkyria Chronicles and Metal Gear Solid 4, you can tell she's always there t talk with you, to share her mind.

But if you want to play rough? She's always up for that too. Maybe you'd like some high speed action, with Wipeout HD, or the best racing sim of all time with Gran Turismo 5 (don't say you can match her with that, its just a poor imitation. She even learned to damage better than you, and you still haven't managed her selection). Or maybe you'd like it harder? Some Demons Souls, or Killzone 2?

But you? What have you got? Space marines after space marines. FPS after FPS. Waves of grey with no real soul. The man needs some variety, he needs to breathe.

Oh, and should a girl with more diseases than a crackwhore labrat really be talking about someone who's failure rate fails to break into double digits? When failure is the rule, not the exception, a larger warranty isn't important.

And you can say you're delivering more for his money, but cheap ripoff Wii avatars? Demo's available a week earlier? This is worth his hard earned cash?

He's moved on, and you haven't. Its too late for you to change, you'll just have to get used to being seen as second best. Its going to happen a lot more.

Anonymous

11

Sorry, but it is all about the dress size.

This guy is a pea brain... but for the sake of fun I will reply to "her".

Sorry hunny, As horrible as it is, truthfully if you want the best guy, you better keep that freakin dress size down or you will get left for a slim.

Truth of the matter is as much as I loved your exclusive assets at one time, you just let yourself go. Lets face it, Over the years Miss slim parents have acquired a ton of 1st party studios and the likes of your games really don't match up anymore. Heck, Halo 3 was honestly just above decent, Gears looked pretty, but I keep putting it down for Res Evil 5, and the other half I can just play on my PC if I really want to. So please stop mentioning your assets... I'd embarrass you if I talked about slims exclusive assets and I'm trying to let you down easily.

Normally things DON'T come with a 3 year warranty. But your hindering birth Defect demands it. Slim has 1 year warranty because the percentage of difficult slims out there is so very tiny.

You've pointed out some of the slims network problems. Now I'm starting to sense some jealously with how you remember the exactly when it happened. Well it may have been true, but that was long ago during her growing phase. So she had a pimple here and there. But anyone with half a brain knew that she was gonna turn out like her mother (PS2) and be the hottest thing on the market at some point. Some time has come and gone and still you have that huge red ringed mole on your face showing slight promise. And on top of it all she's a classy girl...she has grown to have Online just as good as yours for free. But like an old tramp, you make me pay for fun. Enough is enough and your just not worth it anymore.

You still have a dvd player and need batteries for your controllers. Its like you think flannel shirts and Bugle boy jeans are still cool. At one point you found yourself in a good position as the most attractive. Probably because you showed up in town first. Unless I sank to dating an underage Wii, you were the only one my age. Thankfully I have options and don't have to deal with you anymore.

Honestly... from the looks of it I probably won't be back. and trust me... soon enough those 3 million guys will be hittin on my girl. I mean... unless they're chubby chasers. Hey Fat girls need love too.

in closing I'd like to say - Its not you, its me...... its your fault its me, but its me.

Anonymous

12

uhmmm...

Worst arguments ever?

Anonymous

13

Is this an argument for breaking up with the X-Box 360?

If this is an argument for breaking up with the X-Box 360 then the author needs to do some homework. What it comes down to is this = YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. I have both systems and I would say the ease of use in general and online play when I want to play online is a superior experience on the 360.

Anonymous

14

LOL

You break out the YLOD?

I swear, by responding to this I'm probably coming off ass another defensive super duper uber nerd - but I read that and had to try and post a comment...provided I'm not asked to immediately register to some garbage site following this typing.

You get a 3 year warranty because the odds are so heavily in your favor of getting the RROD that they have to do this - it's a safe call by MS. Sony, 1 year, YLOD - the percentage of the YLOD issue should not be able to be brought up when the letters RROD show up in the same paragraph. Only here, only now.

The 360 still can't shake this problem, it's not getting any better. The PS3 is going to have failures, yeah, what piece of electronics/hardware won't?

But the 360? It has a great chance of going down as one of the most flawed pieces of hardware ever offered to the consumers of the world. It's failure rate is horrendous when put up next to that of the PS3. Then again, MS fails when it comes to hardware - software, yeah, we all know.

But the PS3 nails both...yeah, PS3 still needs a couple things to really level it all out but it's almost there. And it will be there.

The PS3 really was intended for the long haul, the 360 is an easy road for MS to travel down before they all bail on you for the next one.

Look at the original xbox and the ps2 - that's all I have to say. At the end of it all we all know who will rein supreme....again.

Anonymous

15

Dude that was great I thought it was funny, some good points made in the argument. None the less I thought it was good.

Me

16

Pathetic

How can someone be as pathetic as you are my dear? I dont need to explain, others before already did(but i'll try anyway). Maybe the only one that can be as pathetic as you is the one who accepted to write your comments about the break up. He dont know how things are. Hes blinded by all that lard you explose to him. He is blind by all the money he spend on your fat, RROD carcass. He's still trying to brag abou you being out first, when we all knew how that could end up f**** your life. You know, when you rush, its pretty much f***ed. Your past sucesses are now exactly that, in the past. Maybe you can keep going on with a few new games an that Natal project, lests hope so, but over all, that other gal is way better than you. Her family shows it. Lets hope your parents wont simply kill you like they did with your older sister, cuz we all know thats is what awaits you as soon as a younger gen comes out. So, with your days numbered, have whatever life you still got in you as well as you can, forget that ridiculous jealousy you and your followers have about the other girl, and please, try to survive your next bout of RROD, if possible at all.

Now, after this ridiculous atempt at humor: Whoever wrote this is a simply a moron, that is even worse fanboy than some we see in the interwebs. A site as PCWorld shoulnd even alow this kind of bias in here, I used to respect this kind of magazine, but his type of fanboy BS is killing this gaming generation. Where is the freaking editors? Wanting hits on this is just like those fanboys I've talked about..

Limit

17

LoLz

nice work on keeping it interesting funny, made me laugh a few times just to bad some ppl are flaming the article when its just ment to be some comic relief for us gamers.

keep up the good work! =]

Phoenix

18

This is terrible.

"cut-priced tart with a flashy exterior and no personality"
Lolwat.
I've already sensed that this isn't something to have fun about, you're just writing this to bitch about the PS3... even the original article wasn't as low as this.

"What can PS3 possibly offer you that I don’t? Sony EyePet? Yeah, good luck having fun with that."
You're obviously blind, too.
Have you not even heard of the MASSVIE releases on PS3 games coming? Do I need to say the word MAG, or even Uncharted?!

"PS3’s online system might be free, but at least I’m reliable (note the epic fail of Playstation Network here and here). It’s like the difference between McDonalds and a classy restaurant: you get what you pay for. Then again, I guess McDonalds is your idea of the perfect date, you cheapskate. "
I felt like stopping reading here, I raged so hard.
First of all, yes, you get what you pay for with LIVE..
But not with PSN, PSN is only slightly less reliable than LIVE and it's only because of that tiny little hiccup that gamers everywhere exaggerate.
Also, this whole sentance is just another way to express your dislike for the PS3 and it's owners, effectivley calling all of us "Cheapskates"

"And I’m honest about my faults. As for the PlayStation 3, I’ve got four words for you: Yellow Light of Death. Did I also mention she only has a paltry one-year warranty? Everyone knows that she doesn't really care about you."
YLOD hardly ever happens, however it's pretty much certain that it'l happen to a 360.. don't be stupid.

"So run along now with your anorexic friend. Just don’t come running back when Left 4 Dead 2 comes out…"
Lol @ anorexic, if we're going to personify the consoles here, PS3 is a beautiful slender peice of hardware, and knows more, does more, doesn't break down on you and won't make you pay to have fun ;)

Oh and lol, using L4D2 as your "last line" game, the one that like half the gaming population are boycotting.. :P

Phoenix

19

This is terrible.

"cut-priced tart with a flashy exterior and no personality"
Lolwat.
I've already sensed that this isn't something to have fun about, you're just writing this to bitch about the PS3... even the original article wasn't as low as this.

"What can PS3 possibly offer you that I don’t? Sony EyePet? Yeah, good luck having fun with that."
You're obviously blind, too.
Have you not even heard of the MASSVIE releases on PS3 games coming? Do I need to say the word MAG, or even Uncharted?!

"PS3’s online system might be free, but at least I’m reliable (note the epic fail of Playstation Network here and here). It’s like the difference between McDonalds and a classy restaurant: you get what you pay for. Then again, I guess McDonalds is your idea of the perfect date, you cheapskate. "
I felt like stopping reading here, I raged so hard.
First of all, yes, you get what you pay for with LIVE..
But not with PSN, PSN is only slightly less reliable than LIVE and it's only because of that tiny little hiccup that gamers everywhere exaggerate.
Also, this whole sentance is just another way to express your dislike for the PS3 and it's owners, effectivley calling all of us "Cheapskates"

"And I’m honest about my faults. As for the PlayStation 3, I’ve got four words for you: Yellow Light of Death. Did I also mention she only has a paltry one-year warranty? Everyone knows that she doesn't really care about you."
YLOD hardly ever happens, however it's pretty much certain that it'l happen to a 360.. don't be stupid.

"So run along now with your anorexic friend. Just don’t come running back when Left 4 Dead 2 comes out…"
Lol @ anorexic, if we're going to personify the consoles here, PS3 is a beautiful slender peice of hardware, and knows more, does more, doesn't break down on you and won't make you pay to have fun ;)

Oh and lol, using L4D2 as your "last line" game, the one that like half the gaming population are boycotting.. :P

Anonymous

20

*facepalm*

super brain damaging skin melting hand destroying facepalm.

Anonymous

21

so how much have you blown on xbox live so far? and how many red rings of death have you gone through so far? how about disc ring scratches from the laser?

Anonymous

23

LOL @ trying to name 360 exclusives, and since you ran out, you say 'etc etc'.

And P2P connections on all 360 games and you STILL have to pay for XBL? LOL

Anonymous

24

The only thing sadder than this pathetic attempt at saving 360 face is the sheer number of fellow Sony supporters that continue to defend the PS3. Honestly this is the most role-playing I've ever seen from grownups outside of a 15 and under Yahoo chat room.

In response to the article, I don't think there's any reason to argue about which system is better. I think it's pretty obvious. When the PS3 was first released, I felt like I needed to justify my decision, but now, I do not. Justifying the purchase of a PS3 over a 360 would be like trying to justify a purchase of an HDTV versus a SDTV...like justifying the purchase of a Ferrari over a Fiesta. Now that they're the same price, no convincing needs to be done. The choice is obvious. If you want to drive fast--to see the world with colors and clarity you've never experienced before--then you've got to go with PS3.

Period.

Anonymous

25

not even a close to as good as an argument as the other letter. You name 5 exclusives and only named little bit of the price and not mentioning the rise of price of games which is unfair to gamers and the mandatory price upgrade for certain DLC that Microsoft made the developers tag on. I'm not fan boy but just agree that Microsoft is greedy and Sony has a couple more better exclusives than x box 360, but im just saying your argument is very flat and not nearly as funny as the other letter :)

Anonymous

26

oh yeah you even admit your an avid 360 fan so your already are biased making this argument a little less appealing

brutikus

27

All for the allure of the games we play

To wrap it all up!
360: is the Red-neck (racist rants in cross chats), weezing, Red-eyed heavy smoker (overheats too often), in the red-light districts (discounts galore aka the cheaper one). Now only good for charging gamers for a gang-bang (full of more pc enjoyable fps/has peer to peer connect for party apps/chat, etc).

And if to be in female form would be a mix of: Colleen Camp, Paris Hilton, & Lindsay Lohan.

PS3: is actually showing its promise of growth with time, like her still attractive mom! a bit of a good girl that can do some badass things(browser, limited b.c., other os,reg. spec. vidzone, playtv, etc.) that's good even on go (psp connectivity). Oh, and she owns her own HOME, while still under construction, a virtual sort of theme parks and more. Not so often seen but is said to be a yellow-eyed smoker herself.

And if to be in female form would be a mix of: Monica Bellucci, Hitomi Tanaka, & Beyonce Knowles.

And so... I've been with a 360 (or two or three), but, i always come home to my PS3!

Racist rants on 360 are no fault of her own. PS3 has a bit of a foul mouth too! Just to be fair.

2ndAlarm

28

PS3 vs Xbox360

I have both systems and here is a fact for you.While I am on my original PS3 I am on my 3rd and last Xbox360.

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