Science fiction's goofiest gadgets and technology

A preview of what gizmos won't be appearing in future editions of tech magazine columns

Let's say you're a devious alien invader who comes from the most technologically advanced civilization in the entire universe. Or let's say you're not. Let's say instead that you're some chump dressed in a gorilla suit and a diving helmet who wants to wipe out all of humanity. How would you go about doing it? Would you use nuclear missiles? A powerful mega-beam death ray? Spores that turn people into creepy pods, perhaps? Or maybe you could just sit around in the desert flipping dials on a bubble machine. Because that's what the alien named Ro-Man does throughout the classic schlock-fi stinker "Robot Monster," and he unsurprisingly doesn't get anywhere with it. I'd tell him to try a different method for ensuring our destruction, but what do I know? I'm just a foolish Hu-Mon.

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