The Worst: Metro-CrossU.S. Gold, 1986 (Atari ST/C64/Amstrad CPC/ZX Spectrum)
We told you it was coming. Truly, Metro-Cross is the nadir of all video game box art. We have no idea what U.S. Gold’s managers were thinking when they approved this monstrosity. Look at it. Just look
at it. There are no words to describe the horror. From the ghastly homemade backdrop to the gurning mutant in skintight lycra, it is perhaps the worst commercial product to ever be created by human beings. Everyone involved should be charged with human rights abuses on the grounds that innocent people actually had to view this thing. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
But perhaps the biggest victim of all is the poor, feckless programmer who was strong-armed into being the ‘sk8ter boi’ for the cover. Little did he realize that his ineffectual skateboard-wobbling would be immortalised on countless Web sites and forums for all eternity. The day his kids stumble across this pic will be the saddest day of his life. Poor bugger.