Stimulus package bargain buys

We highlight the best gear to buy with Rudd’s cash-bonanza handout.

Best Emotion-Numbing Agent: AL6000 Pro Professional Breathalyser + 22 cartons of Carlton Draught ($906)

As the world coughs and splutters its way towards economic meltdown, it’s easy to feel disillusioned with your lot in life. The relentless media reports of doom-and-gloom are enough to make even the most hardened worker semi-suicidal. So why not drown your sorrows in traditional Depression Era style! With 22 cartons or Carlton Draught ($726) and an AL6000 Pro Professional Breathalyser ($180), you’ll be able to turn your angst into sweet oblivion — without running the risk of drink driving.

The AL6000 Pro Professional Breathalyser is Australian Standard Certified, which means you don't have to translate the data to match local guidelines. It also comes with two breathalyser modes and is surprisingly easy to operate. It’s the perfect choice for WEC victims who have been cast into a jobless wilderness. [Speaking of which, step into my office, Chris. — Ed.]

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