1. The FIRST! Guy
Maybe we should have saved this character for last, but our first offender is the FIRST! Guy--the mental marsupial whose contribution to the great discussions of our online times is to post the first response
to any given topic, consisting of the comment "FIRST!" Clever? No. Original? No. Ironically self-mocking in a postmodern deconstructionist kind of way? Uh, no. Puerile? Now you're getting close. And yet there seem to be multiple FIRST! Guy clones lurking around every forum, ready to share a very important message. Here's hoping that all of these Net nuisances find another source of personal pride by their 15th birthday.