10. Satya “The Needle” Nadella
Yes, news broke that Satya Nadella has taken over for Ballmer. He’s done excellent work advancing the initiatives and direction of the previous president of the Windows Server division with just the right amount of surface input and no-boat-rocking activity. He says all the right buzzwords like “cloud,” “private cloud,” “public cloud,” “cloud services,” “death to AWS,” and “Hey, let’s find some teenage cheerleaders.” He should do great if the goal is to drive Microsoft into the 30th or 40th slot of somewhat important technology companies. But as far as tickling my rapier wit repeatedly in my column, he’s a bit of a boring choice, Microsoft. Thanks for nothing.