18 reasons Steve Jobs won't deliver any more Macworld keynotes

Steve Jobs has apparently delivered his last Macworld Expo keynote speech.

Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs.

As you probably know, Steve Jobs has apparently delivered his last Macworld Expo keynote speech. On the scale of highly anticipated events, Jobs' keynotes clearly beat Outbreak of World Peace and are closing in on a Beatles Reunion Tour (especially now that the band would consist of Paul, Ringo and Pete Best). So the anguished cry here at PC World's offices is "Why?" (Though, in fairness, we're probably not quite as anguished as our corporate cousins at IDG Expo, who produce the Macworld show.) Here are our attempts at an answer to the question of the day: Why did Steve abandon us?

1. He couldn't decide what to wear.

2. Apple's Fairplay DRM restricts how many times he can appear publicly.

3. Heard rumor that angry journalists were preparing to throw shoes at him during keynote.

4. He will be there, just in Steve Jobs Nano version, which is too small to see or hear.

5. Steve finally realized that John Mayer's smooth vocal stylings make people's ears bleed.

6. Concerns that Steve's latest catchphrase, "That's Fierce" from Project Runway, didn't have the traction of "un-bel-eiv-able," "mere mortals" and "Pretty cool, huh?"

7. It's all AT&T's fault.

8. Barack Obama recruited Steve to run Chrysler.

9. Steve's agent advised him not to let himself be typecast as "That Apple Guy."

10. "The Collective has been compromised; all available resources have been redirected to combat the incursion."

11. The show was just "a bag of hurt."

12. He heard Bart Simpson was going to be there.

13. Apple wanted to cash in on this "Jobs-cutting" trend.

14. He was already double-booked at the NeXT PC Expo.

15. He's putting all his efforts into voicing Woody in "Toy Story 4."

16. Due to an ill-conceived Apple patent-infringement lawsuit (Jobs v. Jobs, 2007), Steve Jobs is not allowed within 100 yards of Steve Jobs and must spend the rest of eternity in a reality distortion field.

17. It's part of a slew of Apple "improvements" that also include canceling Christmas.

18. He's trying out for a position as the new Fake Steve Jobs.

Join the newsletter!

Error: Please check your email address.
Rocket to Success - Your 10 Tips for Smarter ERP System Selection

Tags steve jobsApplemacworld

Keep up with the latest tech news, reviews and previews by subscribing to the Good Gear Guide newsletter.

PC World Staff

PC World (US online)
Show Comments

Most Popular Reviews

Latest Articles

Resources

PCW Evaluation Team

Sarah Ieroianni

Brother QL-820NWB Professional Label Printer

The print quality also does not disappoint, it’s clear, bold, doesn’t smudge and the text is perfectly sized.

Ratchada Dunn

Sharp PN-40TC1 Huddle Board

The Huddle Board’s built in program; Sharp Touch Viewing software allows us to easily manipulate and edit our documents (jpegs and PDFs) all at the same time on the dashboard.

George Khoury

Sharp PN-40TC1 Huddle Board

The biggest perks for me would be that it comes with easy to use and comprehensive programs that make the collaboration process a whole lot more intuitive and organic

David Coyle

Brother PocketJet PJ-773 A4 Portable Thermal Printer

I rate the printer as a 5 out of 5 stars as it has been able to fit seamlessly into my busy and mobile lifestyle.

Kurt Hegetschweiler

Brother PocketJet PJ-773 A4 Portable Thermal Printer

It’s perfect for mobile workers. Just take it out — it’s small enough to sit anywhere — turn it on, load a sheet of paper, and start printing.

Matthew Stivala

HP OfficeJet 250 Mobile Printer

The HP OfficeJet 250 Mobile Printer is a great device that fits perfectly into my fast paced and mobile lifestyle. My first impression of the printer itself was how incredibly compact and sleek the device was.

Featured Content

Latest Jobs

Don’t have an account? Sign up here

Don't have an account? Sign up now

Forgot password?