We already saw Ubisoft's demo for South Park: The Fractured But Whole—in fact, it was less than a month ago. But when I caught wind (ba-dum-tsh) of the fact Ubisoft demoed the game at Gamescom with the Nosulus Rift, an Oculus parody that shoots farts into your nose? Well, of course I had to try it.
So we headed to the Grand Hyatt outside PAX to strap this disgusting gasmask on my face and see what it could do. Turns out, it can make you retch and feel like you want to die! Though perhaps it was my own fault for hammering on the fart button a dozen times in a row to see just how many farts I could endure.
Ubisoft told us that the smell inside the Nosulus Rift is actually known as "Fart No. 3," and it was created by a French parfumier. They also said it had hints of cabbage and chorizo, but that's a bold-face lie: It smelled more like a hoarder's collection of used toilet paper.
And best of all, the scent was conveyed by a liquid that shot from the Nosulus Rift with each press of the X button. Why's that important? Because I have a moustache, and the liquid ended up worming its way into the tender hairs above my lip and tainting it for all eternity. Imagine the Bog of Eternal Stench from Labyrinth, except I willingly put this thing on my face.
Hell, they even had me sign a waiver beforehand. That's when I should've walked away, in retrospect.
Anyway, my loss is your gain in this case. For more thoughts on how South Park: The Fractured But Whole plays, feel free to check out my earlier impressions. Otherwise, enjoy watching me slowly lose the will to live.